Diary of a Lousy Housewife

Been a long time…

Posted on: October 17, 2013

So it’s been about two years since I last posted. Amazingly (and frighteningly) life has changed very little. Despite a number of promising interviews, Mr. LHW is still unemployed. I, however, as of last month, have started a part-time job. Nothing exciting—it’s a part-time administrative assistant in a design studio. On the one hand it’s an easy entrée back into the world of those who work for others; on the other, it’s hard being in my mid-40s and back at the bottom of the totem pole.

The house, you ask. Yeah, the house. Well, it’s in worse shape than ever. We haven’t been able to use the third floor in more than a year, it’s so messy. The family fell to the land of chaos over six months ago and the kitchen has gone back and forth between horrific and passable with occasional stops in “okay to show to others.” I still don’t really understand why it is that I can’t keep up with it. Part of it is laziness. Part of it is feeling like I don’t deserve to have a nice place. I try and fight these feelings, but it’s harder and harder.

The only way we’ve survived the last two years is with the help of my in-laws. This help has literally made the difference between leading a somewhat normal life and being homeless. Unfortunately, this help has given them free rein to judge how we live. They’re coming to town next week and we’re both overwhelmed at how much we have to do to get the house viewable for them. It seems both insurmountable and possible at the same time. Surely the house can be cleaned in a week. But how can it when we haven’t managed to get it cleaned up in months? It’s like we’re walking a tightrope and I honestly don’t know what the outcome will be when they arrive next Saturday.

I’ve realized that I need an outlet for my feelings other than my husband, my mother (a whole ‘nother story), and my therapist (she could probably use a break). So hopefully I’ll be posting here more frequently than once every two years. Keep your eye on this page. 😉


1 Response to "Been a long time…"

Hey, just remember that someone in VA loves you and is always willing to listen! Don’t be a stranger! It will all work out! xoxoxo

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