(Un)happy New Year
Posted January 8, 2010on:
Earlier I was thinking about a positive-focused post with a list of things I’m happy about myself and my life. Having just had a rip-roaring fight with Mr. Lousy, I’m not in any state of mind to think happy thoughts.
The subject, per usual, was money. Specifically, the fact that my freelance business isn’t making much of any. My receivables for 2009 were 1/3 of what they were in 2008 (ouch) and while I can certainly put a big part of that on the hideous economy, another big part has been a lack of a go-getter attitude on my part. We’ve had so much going on the last 6-8mo, it’s been hard to devote myself to anything but just doing the work that I have already. I’ve been lucky over the last five years that, while there have certainly been fallow periods, I always had work coming in. Now… not so much. I need to start chasing the work, but that requires a positive spirit I don’t really have. For as much as I’m a glass-half-full kind of person in most of life, when it comes to my professional abilities, I’ve been put through the wringer by a few too many bosses to feel confident about self-promotion.
Yesterday I started an online therapy/accountability program and I think it’s going to be the kick in the pants I need. Within the first 15min of the conference call, I felt like I had found my home planet. While many of my friends are classic “type a” personalities, these are women who really get me. Even though we hadn’t “met” until yesterday, by the end of the call, we were finishing each others’ sentences. For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful.
So maybe I’ll write that post about happy things soon.