Diary of a Lousy Housewife

So this is what it’s come to…

Posted on: October 11, 2009

For the first 12 years of our marriage, Mr. Lousy and I differed on our attitudes toward housework (he thought it was very important, but didn’t want to do much of it; I thought it wasn’t that important and didn’t want to do much of it). However, because we were both working, we could afford a cleaning service, if not regularly, at least enough to dig us out. Then we had children and I quit my job and started freelancing. The gravy train dried up pretty quickly and there went the cleaners.

Our oldest is turning five in a couple of weeks and the running argument throughout the last five years has been the state of our house. These fights got more frequent and more vicious (verbally, not physically) starting two years ago when we had our second child, and increasing even more over the past year and a half since Mr. Lousy took on a highly demanding job.

Fundamentally, we have different opinions on (1) the importance of keeping things straightened up; (2) the definition of straightened up; and (3) how much he, working at a very demanding job and as provider of 90% of our income, should be contributing toward housework and childcare on the weekends. I’m not psychically stressed by a messy environment. I can get just as much work done in a pig sty as I can in a palace. He, however, cannot concentrate or feel motivated if things are out of place. This is starting to sound like “The Odd Couple” and I guess in some ways we are.

This is my blog. So, yes, things are going to be biased, but I want to make it clear that Mr. Lousy isn’t all that lousy. He doesn’t expect the house to be sparkling, but he does want it clutter-free and straightened up pretty much 24/7. He doesn’t expect me to have a three-course dinner waiting for him when he gets home from work, but he does depend on me for every meal he eats in this house, with the exception of a bowl of cereal, frozen pizza, or well, that’s it. He’s great with our girls, until he’s stressed out about the messy house and starts losing it.

In an attempt to “get religion” on the subject of home maintenance, I’ve promised to follow, without deviation or ridicule, a program to get myself onto a better routine. Mr. Lousy has promised that he will refrain from losing it so long as he sees progress.

FULL DISCLOSURE: When I say that I’m a lousy housewife and my house is messy, I am not exaggerating. I just bought a broom for the first time in forever (I did have a Swiffer, but rarely used it). My kitchen has lots of counter space, but it’s an oft occurrence that there’s no place to pour yourself a drink because dirty dishes are stacked everywhere. We have an old house with old plumbing and our powder room toilet has a habit of getting clogged. When this happens, it might be days before I address it. Our back yard looks like white trash central with clothing and toys strewn about. Etc, etc, etc. So, just so you know, I do realize that I need to change, I’m just not sure how.


3 Responses to "So this is what it’s come to…"

Hey.. I came across this blog only because I was thinking to myself.. at 1:30 am.. is it possible that there are other lousy housewives out there other than myself?

I googled the exact words: Diary of a lousy housewife.. and there it was. I guess you beat me to starting this blog 🙂

I thought blogging/writing about my problem can motivate me to become a reasonably better housewife, because in reality, i suck 😀

All the best in your attempts at changing, maybe you’ll be my motivation 😀

Dalia.. a self-proclaimed lousy housewife 😦

Yahoo, someone found me!! Thanks for being my first comment and I’m really glad to hear that you have the same issues. I feel like all of my friends are total Type A clean freaks, so I have to hide my real self. Rather than me being your motivation, maybe we need to form a support group and motivate each other. There have to be more of us out there… right?

BTW, I LOVE the name Dalia. I just like saying it and the way it feels in my mouth. Just thought I’d share that. 😉

That’s so sweet of you thanks 🙂 🙂 Actually it should be written with an “H”, Dahlia, but this is a piece of information I acquired not so long ago, which is why I still use Dalia 🙂

Anyways.. I completely understand how it feels to have friends who are clean freaks, I have many of them 😦 just the other day one friend mentioned that she can’t stand going home because the dishes from last day’s breakfast are still in the sink.. Last day dishes for me are still soooo fresh and clean. They can wait for a week before I get bothered.. But it really gets too annoying trying to clean them later..

The night I came across your blog, and it was after midnight here where I live, I felt a surge of energy and spend 3 hours cleaning the kitchen.. so you’re already a motivation 😉 But I like the idea of a support group, but who is going to admit they are as lousy 😀

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